weitzel

a beautiful and majestic female s-x god. like a fine wine, the weitzel only gets better (and by better i mean hornier/s-xier) with age. though the weitzel has slept with nearly every creature with a ding-a-ling on the planet, it is near impossible to reproduce and sp-wn another gorgeous w.i.l.f. it is said in legend that only one man, one big balled man, who has unthinkably godly sized b-lls, huge b-lls, adimantium infused wreckingball size b-lls, dangling hairy b-lls, b-lls that probably make your b-lls look like chicken sh-t p-ss-es, b-lls so ginormous they have the power to move objects, is capable of recreating the wilf. though sir #### valiantly tried to reproduce with the “w.i.l.f,” the offspring resulted in an awkward disaster. thus, we can only hope that the stunningly large t-st-cl-d man of legend will one day meet his destiny and smash the w.i.l.f, and keep these near extinct species alive and poofing and cob-webbing (excreting a powder-like substance from one of several orifices which in it younger stages are thought to have once contained liquid, which dried and condensed into a light powdery substance, much like baby powder.)
guy 1: wooo i just had the kinkiest s-x with the weitzel
guy 2: so did i.
every guy on earth: so did we.
every species of mammel: so did we.
every organism on earth: so did we.
every extra-terrestrial life form: so did we.
every unborn fetus: so did we
chuck norris: so did i
o.g. mudbone: so did i, but my d was too small, that thangs stretched like a bih.
a.k.a. the w.i.l.f ( weitzel id like to f-ck.) an old re-d-nky-donky-ulously saggy t-ttied female. one whose br–sts resemble two pale garbage bags filled with pudding or some other form of goo which droop bellow its waist line (especially when it wears its natural attire, of no bra.) the v-g-n-l cavity of the wilf is encrusted with powder and spider webs, the wilf is a sl-t and a man’s “best nightmare ;).” the wilf prefers facials, -n-l, facials, s-x, facials, p-n-s, facials, and facials. don’t approach one unless you wish to be f-cked on site in a cave for many days, the cave being its -n-s.
yum weitzel queef poof on my babies bottom.
described in legend as “being born of rangel and stamos”. this has been widely interpretted as a work of prehistoric (possibly gay) genetic engineering, fusing the genes of rangel and john stamos into one being. the result was named weitzel, the appearance of john stamos, with the stench of rangel.

stories of weitzel include acts of heroism and gayness, always ending with being eaten by bill cosby (in many different forms of edibles). weitzel is love-stricken by the sight of grunder (aka: sandusky). the pursuits of grunder’s companionship is a recurring theme in the legend. weitzel’s good looks attract grunder, but horrible odor makes his company unbearable. weitzel eventually wins the heart of grunder through the medieval mating ritual known today as “c-ck socket”.

in common terms, a weitzel is used to describe a person with an excellent quality, but a negative downside.
“ugh, brett wilson is such a weitzel. so hot, but so gay.”
a term used to describe a c-m guzzler
that b-tch is such a weitzel