Westland honey

a woman that possesses features characteristically found in women from westland, mi, a town outside of detroit that is appropriately nicknamed “wasteland” by some. they often feature very tan skin, blonde hair, and excessive amounts of make-up. this doesn’t mean that the hair is necessarily their actual hair color, just as the deep tan may indicate either wild overuse of a tanning bed and/or spray tan product. one technique for achieving that deep tan look is to use a shade of toner on the face that is far too dark given the women’s real complexion. this can be a disturbing and bizarre experience for any onlooker. another characteristic of westland honies is that unmistakable look of narcosis visible on the face. if you see a woman with the aforementioned features who also looks to be high on prescription pain-killers, the probability that she is in fact a westland honey soars to an astounding 99.25% (radke, pg. 29). extensive research into the social behaviors of westland honies has not to date been conducted but preliminary observations are telling. a favorite pastime involves taking pills and watching old dvds of jersey sh-r- while sipping gl-sses of wine with ice cubes in it.
“i see some westland honies at the end of the bar mean mugging me.” “why?” “i played a non-rap song on the jukebox”.
“it’s been a long dry spell for me, we should head to us-12 and find some westland honies.”
alex: “so then this woman came out of nowhere and punched me in the throat. she was slurring her words and looked like paris hilton wearing blackface”. john: “it was probably a westland honey”.