Westminster Choir College
westminster choir college (wcc) is one of the greatest choir schools in the world, mainly because it is the only choir school in the world. located in princeton, nj, wcc is the satellite music school of rider university, although none of westminster’s students will admit that openly because of a lack of funding and appreciation shown from their university.
westminster’s gay men to straight men ratio is approximately 4:1, which causes their women to experiment with their as-xuality. students at westminster can often be seen pulling out large chunks of their hair and weeping in practice rooms during late hours of the evenings while they try to prepare solfege singing exercises and keyboard harmony -ssignments for their theory cl-sses unsuccessfully. another cause of tension amongst students revolves around the exorbitant cost of tuition; from the cost of attendance, sheet music, formalwear, and private lessons, many students are forced to transfer to state schools before they can complete their programs of study. the most common degree program, music education, is host to some of the most stressed and s-xually frustrated students in the modern post-secondary world. because of this, westminster is also referred to as “stressminster queer college”.
in spite of all the academic pressure and frequent feelings of impending doom, most students who attend westminster are bound together by both their commiseration and their love of music, creating an unbreakable sense of family.
high school student: i’m going to westminster choir college to study music education!
normal person: isn’t it less expensive to commit suicide?
person: where do you go to school?
wcc student: westminster choir college!
person: oh, westminster college in pennsylvania?
wcc student:…no, are you stupid? i go to school in princeton, nj.
person: oh, you go to school at princeton university?
wcc student: no! i go to westminster choir college of rider university!
person: oh, so you go to rider?
wcc student: -breaks whatever they are holding and walks away-
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