Wet Goddess
a book by malcolm j. brenner about his 9-month s-xual relationship with a dolphin.
this book ill-strates the bond one can feel with animals.
i’ve owned a guinea pig for a couple years now. her name is fluffy, and i’m pretty sure she flirts with me.
after reading wet g-ddess, i now know that fluffy is flirting with me and signaling that she wants a more intimate relationship. i told her it’s time to stop playing games and let’s do this if we’re gonna do this. she seemed receptive, so i’m taking her out on a date this friday.
look, i know people are going to judge when they see me walking around town with a gorgeous guinea pig in my arms, but whatever. they’re just jealous haters who don’t understand the bond one can feel with a different species.
there will be obstacles to overcome in this relationship, but there are challenges in every relationship. it’s all about compromise. i’m trying to teach fluffy to stop p–ping on herself, and she’s teaching me how to drink water from an upside-down bottle.
i implore all people to read wet g-ddess before they pursue an inter-species relationship.
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