Whitchering
noun – meaning ‘to whitcher’ (verb): to talk about pointless sh-t for ages and not be listened to. invented by jack whitcher.
‘hey guys, guess what i did last night.’
‘for f-cks sake jack, what the h-ll are you on about?’
‘well basically have you ever seen the donkey kong rap? oh, there was this film, yeh, where this ant j-zzed on this leaf. oh and i had a curry, yeh, but then i took a sh-t, yeh, and i thought ‘i love summoner 2′. oh there’s this bit and it was really hard, yeh, and it took me days to complete and i was talking to rich about it the other day, yeh, and he totally agreed with everything i said cos he’s totally played it as well. but your mum’s fl-ng- looks like an elephant sat on a tomato hahahahahaha.’
‘…’
‘oh my god, yeh, my brother was playing cod 6 and i was like ‘oh my gooooooooooooooooooooooood’. then i found a used condom on his bedroom floor, yeh, and i was like ‘awh’. then i took a sh-t in a bag and put it on my neighbours doorstep, yeh. but yeh, have you ever tried sauerkraut? aw it’s well nice, yeh, but i was playing grand theft auto 4 last night, yeh, and i was like ‘oh my gooooooooooooooooooooooooood’.
‘shut the f-ck up – you’re whitchering!’
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