William Jennings Bryan

a famous american orator, and three-time democratic nominee for president. he never became president, but he dodged a bullet (literally) when he lost the 1900 election, as mckinley was -ss-ssinated one year later while shaking citizen’s hands at the pan-american exposition in buffalo. his 1896 “cross of gold” speech is his most famous speech, and probably the most quoted of his orations. unfortunately, bryan is remembered not for his political campaigns (he ran an anti-imperialist campaign against mckinley in 1900, and mckinley is now considered one of the most imperialistic presidents in all of american history), nor most of his orations, but the scopes trial, in which he condemned a teacher who taught evolution in a tennessee school. now most commonly cited as an example of ignorant fundamentalist christians by those who don’t understand how the past actually worked. historians, however, (including a socialist, richard hofstadter) have stated that it is a cruel, misconstrued view of an individual who had simply outlived his time.
joe: ” i just got a silver filling in my tooth. d-mn, it hurts, but i do look pretty bad-ss now.
bob: “haha, i have a gold filling.”
joe: “you shall not crucify mankind upon a cross of gold!”
bob: “who’s that quote from?”
joe: “william jennings bryan.”
bob: “wow. i have no idea who that is. you’re smart.”
joe: “thanks, william jennings bryan, posterboy for obscure historical figures!”