Williams College
a 2,000-student college in northwestern m-ssachusetts, williams college has been ranked #1 by us news and world report for several years in a row. it also dominates in sports. founded in 1793, it has a beautiful campus in berkshire mountains, close to the famous clark art inst-tute and m-ss moca in neighboring north adams. strong in all subjects, williams is especially noted for its dominance of the art history world, having alums in charge of many major american art museums. also has by far the largest endowment—1.5 billion dollars—of any college of comparable size. students come from all over the u.s. and the world. williams has pretty much everything, with the possible exception of a nearby major city, although boston and new york are moderately accessible.
school colors: purple and gold.
school mascot: the purple cow
team name: the ephs (“eefs”), named after founder ephraim williams.
traditional nemesis: amherst.
“george steinbrenner, stephen sondheim, and president garfield all went to williams college.”
“hey, williams just beat amherst 51-21! at amherst’s homecoming!”
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a small, pretentious, and overpriced liberal arts college in western m-ssachusetts. founded in 1793, the college president and students soon left following a financial crisis (and after realizing that williamstown was too far removed from civilization); they went on to found amherst college in 1821. amherst’s superiority has been childishly disputed ever since. williams students tend to tout rankings from an independent magazine only relevant to upper middle cl-ss students, as well as their record in the long standing amherst v. williams football rivalry. although williams football does have the winning record in the annual homecoming contest, the adminsitration pays the price by spending more on athletics than amherst. the students also pay the price by having no social life, their time taken up by practice or studying. williams students are notoriously poor at holding alcohol, and tend to lack basic interpersonal skills.
1: dude, williams college is ranked number one liberal arts college again this year!
2: ah, another excuse for them to suck each other’s d-cks.
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