Wisco

not used by wisconsinites. “sconsin”, on the other hand, is, but not really on purpose, its just used when you’re talking fast. wisconsin does not suck -ss, i don’t know why that guy says it does. it is by far the friendliest state there is, known for its “gemulikeit”, which cannot be translated into english but means something like “you’re drinking beer and your friends are drinking beer and you’re all happy and you are all friends and the packers are winning and all is good”, something like that. known for driving well, having long conversations with people that have called the wrong number, and giving advice to people in stores who don’t know what they are doing. no toll booths. much more urban than often believed, milwaukee is actually bigger than boston, memphis, or washington, d.c. and does offer anything and everything you’d expect in a major city. many smaller mid-sized cities. madison is a great place to live. lots of lakes. lots and lots of lakes. pretty much awesome, especially when you compare it to illinois.

a guide to traveling to wisconsin:

) don’t order filet mignon or pasta primavera at al’s lodge. it’s a diner. they serve breakfast 24 hours a day. let them cook something they know. if you upset the ladies in the kitchen they’ll kick your -ss.

2) don’t laugh at the names of our little towns (sheboygan, menomonee, nekoosa, prairie du chien, etc.) or we will just have to kick your -ss.

4) we know our heritage. most of us are more literate than you. we are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. don’t refer to us as a bunch of hicks or we’ll kick your -ss.

5) we have plenty of business sense. you have to make a living here. naturally, we do sometimes have small lapses in judgment from time to time, but we are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the senate. if someone tried to do that, we would kick her -ss.

6) don’t laugh at our giant fibergl-ss fish and cows. anything that inspires tourists to buy 50,000 postcards can’t be bad. and don’t laugh at our love and pride of cheese or we’ll kick your -ss.

7) we are fully aware of how cold it gets here in the winter, so shut the h-ll up. just spend your money and get the h-ll out of here or we’ll kick your -ss.

8) don’t order the vegetarian special at the local diner. everyone will instantly know that you’re a tourist. eat your steak well-done like g-d intended and have some potatoes with that, for heaven’s sake! also, don’t ask what a hot dish is or we’ll kick your -ss.

9) don’t try to fake a wisconsin accent. we don’t have an accent. that will incite a riot and you will get your -ss kicked.

10) don’t talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. many of us have visited big-city h-ll-holes like detroit, new york, and chicago, and we have the scars to prove it. if you don’t like it here, interstate 90, 94, and 43 are ready when you are. move your -ss on home before it gets kicked.

11) don’t complain that wisconsin has too many mosquitoes and farm land. if you whine about our scenic beauty we’ll kick your -ss all the way back to chicago.

12) don’t ridicule our mannerisms. we only speak when spoken to. we hold doors open for others. we offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. behave yourselves around our sweet, little gray-haired grandmothers or they will kick some manners into your -ss, just like they did ours.

13) so you think we’re quaint or losers because most of us live on the farm or in the woods? that’s because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like new york or la. make fun of our fresh air and we’ll kick your -ss.

14) oshkosh b’gosh is not a joke. your -ss will be kicked.

15) last, but not least, do not dare to come out here and tell us how the prairies should “go back to the buffalo.” this will get your -ss shot (right after it is kicked). just mention this once and you will go home in a pine box. minus your -ss.

now enjoy your visit and then go home.
guy 1: ahahah wisconsin sucks! no electricity! ahahh! only farms! ahhaha!

guy from wisconsin: ok then…
the true abbreviation for “wisconsin”. this is the word actually used by wisconsinites, regardless of espn sportscenter anchors who say “‘sconsin.”
i can’t wait to hit up the exotic, tropical climate of “wisco” for spring break.
wisconsin, that peice of sh-t state only known for their cheese, what we wisconsiners call it
wisco sucks, if i could live anywhere else i would