Woodchip

an incredibly lovely guy.

he makes your heart skip a beat with the slightest smile. he turns your worst day into the happiest. he is playful, but loyal. he is good-looking, but humble. he is strong, but comp-ssionate.

he is a gentleman, a hero, a dream-come-true. and he is so easy to love.
a woodchip does not smile at you one day and ignore you another. he is loyal all the way through. no matter how you look, no matter how you feel, he will always be there to help you. many love him, but he returns the love. he is a true friend. and he is always a true friend.
a really really really cute guy. he is incredibly sweet and all of the girls are in love with him. he is smart, good-looking, and comp-ssionate.

a girl with same description is called a flowerpetal.
laura: “guess what? i’m sitting next to herbert in english. he is such a woodchip! kind, good-looking, and very smart.”

anna: “no way! you are so lucky. he has such a great smile. and he’s good at everything. seriously, all of my friends are obsessed with him. and it’s his first week here!”
a really hot guy
amanda: that zombie movie was so epic!
ashlyn: i know! the main guy was such a woodchip! i stared at his face the whole time
amanda: naw, girl! the zombie at the end of the movie was so much woodchippier! did ya see those abs??
ashlyn: he didnt even have a head!
amanda: n-bodys perfect…
when a female has an erect, hard, throbbing cl-toris; female equivalent of a male having wood.
that guy is so hot, he could even give a lesbian a wood chip!
the lovely art of disturbing a “plank” attempt. usually performed by the photographer or another friend present for the planking effort. once the person -ssumes the pose, the “woodchipper” intercedes, providing some sort of direct or indirect contact, breaking the pose.

this may include, but is most certainly not limited to: using any body part or object to strike the planker in the body directly; or make contact with the object(s) the person is planking on, causing them to fail in a most epic fashion.

woodchipping: the act
woodchipper: the enforcer
woodchipee: the victim(s)
woodchipped: past tense

note: this is probably illegal and could potentially really hurt someone, but they are plankers, so its cool.
— example 1 —
jerry: bro, did you hear what happened to adam?
chris: yeah, he was planking in the shop last night and his roommate woodchipped the sh-t out of him.
jerry: word? how so?
chris: he broke a 2×4 over his ear.
adam: what?
chris: i said mike broke a 2×4 over your ear.
adam: what?

— example 2 —
kate: omg, we had, like, a sleepover at angie’s, and angie was planking on some, like, folding chairs, and like anna kicked out the chair. like, total fail.
amy: wtf? omg!
kate: like, ya. total woodchip job
v. to steal or capture a girl’s heart

someone who woodchips is called a woodchipper or wood chipper
jo: “so did you succeed in woodchipping anna?”
tom: “no, she’s so hard to woodchip!”
good looking, amazingly s-xy, extremely hot, very attractive
allie: “have you seen that new guy?”

jena: “yeah he’s so woodchips!!”