Woodville, Ontario


a very small town about 1 1/2 hours north-east of toronto. mainly a gathering place for all who are perfect or who claim to be perfect, and being responsible for sp-wning even more perfect children. if you are from out of town, the welcoming committee will remind you on a daily basis that you don’t belong there. don’t try to be friendly to anyone, it’s not allowed.

the school penal system is governed by magic wand-wielding princ-p-ls who also use a generous helping of fairy dust to deal with bullies and everyday problems.

the downtown area is booming with closed stores, a tattoo parlour, hair salon, overpriced convenience store and a restaurant housed in a former funeral parlour.

real estate in woodville is difficult to sell as the town’s reputation precedes itself, so if you buy here, prepare for the fact that it will take years to sell your home before you can go back to where people are normal and not so perfect.
bullies unfriendly woodville, ontario

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