WoW Nerd

a normal day for a wow nerd involves 8 to 20 hours of game play in world of warcraft. many of these people do not have jobs and live in their mother’s bas-m-nt. if they are not playing world of warcraft they are sleeping. a typical player will sleep an average of 12 hours. because of their long “pro” sessions of raiding with 24 other slums of society they tire frequently and need a lot of time to recuperate.

typically for males the average age is 20-27. average weight is 300 or more pounds. job (if any) is entry level help desk support or best buy salesman. education is either computer certifications or -ssociates degree at a community college.

for females the average range is 27-35. their average weight is more than males, usually 350 or more pounds. they do not work and are usually pitifully married to some slug whom they loathe, although they admire speaking of “my hubby” while online to make it seem like a p-n-s wants to enter their landscape of a v-g-n-.

males play because they are permanently stuck in a fantasy world and cannot escape to real life. their future aspects are to be 40 year old virgins surrounded by objects like star war figurines and comic books.

females only play to garner attention from young males usually 19-21. they will routinely beg for attention in the game; promising their v-g-n- as a reward to the young males in response to their attention grabbing devices. many horrible marriages have been broken and many more young males have unloaded their sperm to a mammoth whale’s figure silhouetted against a darkly lit room and computer screen.

both males and females usually are self-diagnosed with “aspergers disorder.” a condition now wrongly treated and diagnosed in young kids due to the overwhelming degree of inept-tude in the grossly ignorant american psyche. this disorder is actually just a justification for the wow nerds to exhibit their highly eccentric and escapist traits.

the diet for a wow nerd consists solely of delivery pizza from popular places such as pizza hut and papa john’s. not only are wow nerds incapable of cooking a healthy meal, they are also incapable of seeing the light of day and conversing with normal everyday people in a successful matter.

if they have any extra money left from paying their wow subscription these nerds will gleefully spend their remainder on useless technology and dvd collections. a typical wow nerd will most likely own a 300-600 dollar cell phone filled with inane “new” technology, however because they have no real life friends the phone remains highly unused.

since wow nerds typically game for long periods they do not watch tv; there are many reasons to this, but the main reason is that their mother’s or caretakers do not usually install a cable line in their bas-m-nt dwellings-due to the added cost. since the wow nerd cannot afford to pay for cable themselves tv is out of the question. they will however spend ludicrous amounts of money on dvd collections like “lost” or “the family guy” touting these unoriginal and almost mind-numbingly boring series as the best thing to enter media in decades.
typical examples of wow nerd’s –

(gandalfx, the level 69 male blood elf mage) 1. general – ding level 70!

f-ck yeah we just downed (insert mystical creature here)!

yeah but really, if you know your positioning on this fight then the boss cannot really touch you, in fact i was just researching the possibilities of the raid dying due to the bolt of heavenly magic effect on the healers and….

(guild chat with a bunch of other losers) – f-ck u legaol-ss u f-ckin suck u scrub my hunter will pwn u

did anyone buy the new family guy series yet? its so awesome!

my hubby is fixin the puter! !lol!!! (whisper to hegra the level 70 female dwarf healer)

(raid chat with 25 losers) – i got aggro and died sorry i killed you all guys i will try my best next time, i feel so bad and all i can say is sorry

(whisper to darkelfxx the level 70 male night elf rogue) oooooohhhhhh you are so cute -wink- lol i think u are soooo funny

(guild master to every loser) – guys you are not playing correctly you need to correct your mistakes and we need to kill (insert mythical creature here) before we can progress. i am really trying my best to direct this guild, but i feel that no one is taking me seriously. (logs offline and m-st-rb-t-s to furry p-rn).