Wrenchpants
tiny, cheap, hobbit-like creature with squirrel-like hands and an inability to pr-nounce words or names correctly; usually blind and possesses the ability to cross highly trafficked streets without harm, almost like an invisible frogger game; inevitably, this creature’s clothing is ill-fitted, leading him to pull, twist or “wrench” such attire so that the wallet is lying on the hip; the wrenchpant’s biggest enemy are “shortpants” or, more commonly, “short britches”; this creature pretends to have a higher education and would sell his own srambled-egg-eyebrowed father down the river to save a dime
it gets old as heck working for that b-tch–ss wrenchpants.
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