Wrestling Manager
a girl who -ssists her high school wrestling team by doing (and not limited to) the following activities:
-cleaning the mats every day before practice (i had to haul a bucket of water up and down two flights of stairs most of the time to dump out water and refill it with scalding hot water and bleach)
-washing singlets and jackets (take inventory and organize them too)
-fetching ice and performing first aid (do this at least once a day)
-organizing files for coaches
-keep score (sometimes you have to work a table at a tournament, even if it isn’t at your school and those can go for 5 hours, at most 8)
-keep up with every single thing, including wrestlers’ belongings sometimes.
-be able to change the tape or battery in a video camera in 10 seconds flat.
-tolerate s-xual har-ssment
-learn the hand signals of a referee and learn all wrestling moves so you know when the ref missed a take down, reversal, or whatever can get your wrestler more points.
it’s not an easy job, but someone has to do it. don’t call us maids either. we handle your records and we can change them!
warning: wrestling managers tend to turn increasingly violent, physically stronger, and more b-lls than the average man. also known to be able to wrestle very well if they wanted to, but the coaches need them more behind scenes. if approached by one, do not demean her position on the wrestling team. she will no doubt do standing peterson roll on you and then a banana split. trust me, you don’t want to know what that is.
it’s typically best if managers didn’t date wrestlers because if the relationship goes sour, the wrestler’s performance might suffer and the girl might quit. some coaches might even kick off the managers for such behavior. the rules are generally: “if i can’t see it and neither of you are getting distracted, then i don’t care.”
person: what’s the point of being a wrestling manager?
me: so they can focus on their performance and work.
person: what do you do?
me: clean, organize, and keep track of stuff as well as score.
person: so you’re a maid?
me: …-throws sweaty singlet in their face- what did you call me? i will pin your -ss to this d-mn floor and clean it with your face!
person: -pwned-
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