Yellow Springs

the marijuana capital of ohio, great place to meet hippies and eat mushrooms.
guy 1: do you know where i can buy a bowl?
guy 2: yah go to import house in yellow springs, its right by haha pizza, you can’t miss it.
a small town in ohio who residents are so in love with how “tolerant” they are, that they don’t realize just how intolerant they are of anyone who doesn’t share their worldview. anything that could potentially be cool about the town is ruined by the residents.

for example, one may think that going on a guided hike in glen helen would be a fun time. however, such a hike is infected by the “young men with a cause” who show up for it, and spend the entire hike talking about their cause to each other and bragging about what they have done for their cause.

also, a potentially cool store like dark star comics is ruined by the million b-ttons and b-mper stickers that one has to deal with with that contain angry and hateful slogans towards anyone who doesn’t share the leftist political views of the typical yellow springs resident.

other examples include the local head shop being filled with “you steal you suck” signs and etc etc etc.

basically, it’s a town that claims to embrace diversity and hate fundamentalism, but in all actually it’s a h-m-geneous
fundamentalist cesspool for the self-appointed “prophets” of the far left.

in conclusion, you’ll hear more preaching after spending 30 minutes in yellow springs then you’ll hear from a listening to a years worth of sermons at church.
boy, glen helen would be an awesome place to hike if it wasn’t in yellow springs. actually, almost anything in yellow springs would be an awesome place if it wasn’t in yellow springs.
no, this is not a group of gay men peeing in a river together. not quite. it is the sanctuary for the cross-dressing, pot-smoking f-ggots of ohio. one will find the next day that people are either dead from overdoses, tripping b-lls, or transformed into a completely different gender (not always apparent since everyone dresses in the same plaid, punk, unis-x clothing).

though the city has been devoid of legal means of income since 1965, yellow springs’ economy is sustained purely by the weed, mushroom, and gay prost-tution industries. former location of the headquarters of the -sshole enthusiast club until the club’s leadership decided the town was “too gay for them”.

drum circles and groups of people who just want to “jam” are frequent in its poppy-laced fields. considered as a possible location for the concert that took place in woodstock before hippie bands arrived and saw that not only was the town dead, but that the place made them seem like radical republicans.

avoid at all costs, as there is enough of all illegal substances in the air to intoxicate a person with one breath.

caution: 97% of substances within city limits are laced with pcp
joe: is that a man or a woman?
walter: how the h-ll should i know? they’re from yellow springs.