zeldaman

a zeldaman the name for a nomad who travels the world in search of the perfect toenail clippings. as he makes his way from city to city, he inspects every toenail in sight. a zeldaman’s inspection process involves tasting, smelling, feeling and listening to the toenail. most zeldamen have spent their entire lives dedicated to discovering what they call “the ari.” the ari is a zeldic word meaning “perfection.” in this case, they are looking for the toenail that smells like freshly excreted s-m-n, looks like a pearly white sh-ll, tastes like the blood of a unicorn, feels like the freshly combed hair of a llama and sounds like the bell of notre dame de paris.

the quest of the ari has had zeldamen competing for over 9000 years. each zeldaman operates under a certain number. there are currently 1369 known zeldamen. one such zeldaman, known as 16, has claimed to have discovered the ari but no proof was given. zeldaman 16 has made a claim that the ari he found has a new, previously undoc-mented property, but this too, is unconfirmed. 16 claims that the ari has the ability to teleport at will and thus he lost it. many rumors have gone around that he was telling the truth, however, most zeldamen remain unconvinced.
adam: “you shouldn’t go into that room!”
devyn: “why not?”
adam: “i barely made it out myself, a zeldaman made his way inside and now everyone is stuck in there until he finishes his inspections. if you go in there now, you’ll never make it to work in time.”
devyn: “thankyou! i can’t afford to be late again, i would be fired for sure.”