Zombie dick

typically occurs when she says it’s that time of the month, and you drunkenly reply that you don’t care and have s-x anyways. upon examining your p-n-s post coitus, you realize that you now have a bl–dy zombie d-ck.
“dude it looks like someone dipped a hotdog in ketchup and slapped your sheet like twelve times.” “nah man i just had an absolute zombie d-ck.
a erection that happens when there is no s-xual stimuli present. usually during untimely situations. mostly present in males going through p-b-rty, but can happen from time to time in adult males.
i was sitting in a alcoholic anonymous and suddenly had a case of zombie d-ck.

mr. kelley didn’t want to stand up to teach his because he had developed a zombie d-ck grading papers.
what your finger looks like after injuring and becoming an absolute bl–dy mess under neath the fingernail
“you were so trashed last night when you slammed your finger in the door. how’s that feeling today”
“well, it feels fine, but it looks like a zombie d-ck”
when you’re on something like cocaine or roxycodone and you’re d-ck gets real hard but you can never c-m.
me: “hey dr. dangus you rascal, listen to this. so i was doing some roxys last night and f-cked this girl for like an hour, it took forever for me to c-m, i had ‘zombie d-ck’ like crazy. is that normal?”

dr. dangus: “i dunno, what do i look like to you? a f-cking d-ck doctor?
a spontaneous erection that refuses to go away, it sticks out similarly to a zombie’s arms
johnny did not want to go to the chalkboard because he had a cl-ssic case of zombie d-ck.

kids going through p-b-rty often have zombie d-ck.
when a man c-ms inside a woman and goes limp with in the v-g-n- and after three seconds the d-ck will rise and smack the top of the womans v-g-n- while she yells its alive!!!!!!!!
ted did a zombie d-ck last night
the median between a “whiskey d-ck” and a full blown erection. “zombie d-ck” occurs when the male attempts to revive his whiskey d-ck by any means necessary for the purpose of s-xual pleasure. the undead, semi-life form resembles that of a zombie resulting in a sub-par s-xual performance and resentment towards ones genitals.
guy 1: “dude, did you f-ck her?”

guy 2: “yeah, but i had a bad case of zombie d-ck, it was a terrible performance.”
the result of placing leeches on your p-n-s to cause lack of erections and shriveling of the p-n-s causing the p-n-s to look pale and scared. this practice originated from texas in 2003 when h-m-s-xuals wished to hide their erections when they saw men.
“dude, i saw a rotting hot-dog yesterday and it looked like a zombie d-ck.”
“i dont want to go in that lake, i’d end up with a zombie d-ck”.