Anatolian Corkscrew
a s-xual act in which the p-ssive partner sits on the blades of a modified ceiling fan and the active partner penetrates her from below. if done properly and with sufficient lubrication, this arrangement should cause mutual delight as the gentle rotation of the ceiling fan causes her to “corkscrew” in place on his phallus.
the anatolian corkscrew was invented by sultan abdülmecid i of the ottoman empire, and first actuated in 1852, in the city of izmit. of course, the sultan did not use a ceiling fan, because ceiling fans were not yet known to the ottomans at that time. instead, he had his carpenters build a bespoke spinner from imported larch wood. there has been some speculation as to whom his majesty first boinked on the contraption, but most historians agree that it was not his then most recent (and, in fact, twentieth) wife, serfiraz hanımefendi. her preferences tended towards the vanilla.
bill impressed alice by -ssembling a bespoke ceiling fan with five polished larchwood blades and installing it in their bedroom. that night, alice told bill she wanted to try the anatolian corkscrew. when comprehension dawned on him, bill went promptly to the hardware store, picked up the supplies he needed, and set to work lowering the fan.
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