Arachnophineaide
a terrible disease that is spreading in schools around the world. it started in a middle school in connecticut, usa. pr-nounced: arack-no-fin-e-ide.
symptoms include but are not limited to:
aching bones, fear of the people around you, amnesia, internal bleeding, constant cross-eyedness, rapid muscle spasming, the urge to twerk non stop, strange s-xual attraction to cleaning supplies, thinking that banging your head on the wall is a good idea, concussions, decreasing eyesight, fear of the color green, losing the ability to exhale, spontaneous head banging (or “rocking out”), the sudden urge to pierce every part of your body and then put a morph suit on, hives, the fear of water, random decapitation, accessive shaving, balding, bipolar disorder, yeast infections, the desire to marry a video game, becoming slenderman, trying to fly, being an idiot, the inability to stay still, teenage pregnancy, aids, rapies (getting raped by an animal with rabies), and in most cases death.
there is no cure for this, but if you or someone you know has arachnophineaide, it is best to try and slow the disease spreading by performing a tribal dance around the victim as the oldest of the group covers them in ice. then, after they are completely covered, the group should all trade socks with eachother, and then proceed to eat the ice. thus, extracting a small piece of the disease and allowing it to enter them. arachnophineaide is a serious problem and needs to be treated as such.
“yo, dude, my friend died the other day. his head randomly fell right off his head. n-body knows why!”
“bro, he had arachnophineaide! i hope you didn’t touch him!”
“yeah man i’m clean, but people should really stop being so mean about it. it’s not like he could help it.”
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