artarmon

artarmon is a suburb of sydney, australia, located between neighboring suburbs chatswood and north sydney.

it is known to be a hotbed for illegal drug trafficking, illegal prost-tution and for having heavy gang activity. among it’s heavy crime rate, artarmon has been recognised as a cl-ss 1 problem area for having a blatant disregard for state and national health/sanitation standards, with much of the towns sewage being dumped in the street.

due too it’s clear ‘ghetto-like’ status, artarmon’s housing prices have been slowly slipping since the late 1980’s.

some speculate that this slow drop in real-estate value has not been because of the high crime rate and inadequate sewerage system, but because of the birth of the one they call ‘tom’.

this speculation is understandable as tom cannot resist shouting profanity and thrusting his pelvis at any female who walks past, despite their age. subsequently, to battle tom a band of n-ble warriors have set up the “tom is not my friend” brotherhood.

we must show him what he does is wrong…we must save artarmon.
g-d, artarmon stinks….ghetto’s sure do suck. oh look, its tom…

tom – “hey ladies /thrusts pelvis/”

2 more definitions
add your own
a suburb on sydney’s north sh-r-, just south of chatswood. with its incredibly low crime rate, local school, public transport and varied shopping options, it is considered an excellent place for young couples to raise a family.

the most notorious event in artarmon’s history was the carpark firebombing, on january 1st, 2012. several cars were destroyed in the resulting fire. residents, who had never seen anything like it before, were terrified and -ssisted police and firefighters to return the suburb to its tranquil lifestyle.
“i want a nice place to raise my kids, where we don’t have to worry about crime or violence.”
“how about artarmon?”
artarmon is a notorious suburb located on the north sh-r- of sydney in between north sydney and chatswood. it is often colloqually known as the “ghetto of the north” and “refugee camp of sydney” due to its many negative traits. its road and housing infrastructure quality is of extremely poor standards and comparable to third world countries and worst.
furthermore artarmon suffers from an extremely high crime rates which is 700% the national average in all cases. there are approximately 32 murders, 56 armed robberies and 24 arson attacks every week. many attribute this to the naturally aggressive artarmon population and the abandonment of the suburb by the rest of sydney since the 1980s in which a perimeter fence was erected preventing people from getting in and out bar aid organisations.
like its infrastructure and crime record, artarmon has a severly lacking sanitation situation. an underground deal between the mayors of the surrounding sydney suburbs and local mafia has seen artarmon been the unwitting recipient of all of sydneys sewage through a series of secret pipes to the suburb center. the health problem is further complicated by the local populations willingness to defacate in the streets and throw their rubbish on the roads. a recent study by the who rated artarmon as being one of the worst areas not just in australia but in the world in terms of sanitation and lack of medical facilities in which artarmon has none.
despite these flaws artarmons economy is doing suprisingly well due to its lucrative prost-tution ring and narcotics industry which provides for the surrounding suburbs.
“omg whats that smell? oh wait we’re just p-ssing artarmon. man artarmon sure is a ghetto.”