bacon gliders

-noun

protuberant or hanging l-b– minora that can hang far below the l-b– majora. ‘bacon’ because these wrinkled fleshly lips bear a striking resemblence to bacon strips and ‘gliders’ because they often strongly recall the outstretched patagium, or furry parachute-like membrane of the flying squirel in mid-glide. madonna helped sear the image of bacon gliders into popular imagination when a notorious circa 1979 black and white nude of her sold at christie’s for $37,500. to the general horror of the public, madonna’s l-b– minora flaps hung out several inches from her body. bacon gliders can fortunately be removed in a cosmetic procedure called l-b–plasty. some have suggested that the mysterious and highly unflattering bulge we often see in lady gaga’s panties is in fact folded bacon gliders.
although emma had an otherwise gorgeous body, she was morbidly ashamed of her bacon gliders and swore me to never reveal her secret.

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