badgett


on good days: a weak–ss. on bad days: a creepy, weirdo weed dealer who is a part-time delusional stalker. ladies beware!!! i cannot stress this enough. they come armed and are generous with their goodies. the plethora of rainbow colored candies are extremely tempting but still, you must run away! just get your dime bag,have a lil’ chit-chat, and ever so slowly back out of the room.
girl 1: “so, i’m met this guy. we hit it off. he seemed pretty cool…at first.”

girl 2: “uh-oh.”

girl 1: “well…three days in he’s already blowing up my phone and telling me how much he loves me. after three frickin’ days!! i could handle his awkwardness before because he was keeping me folded but…it’s kinda starting to scare me. what should i do?”

girl 2: “you need to stay the h-ll away from him! that’s exactly what you need to do. he’s got all the signs of being a badgett. i hope your life insurance is up to date…sh-t, your chances of becoming missing just shot up 40%. gtfo”
a particularly hairy b-tt-hole.
dude me and sarah totally almost had s-x until i realized she had a pretty serious badgett on her hands.

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