Bar Banshee


noun.

a profusely annoying, deafeningly loud woman whose mouth diarrhea completely dominates all the normal sounds of a bustling bar, drowning out everything else.
conversation, ordering a drink, or enjoyment of music is rendered impossible.

this legendary beast refuses to shut the h-ll up and mistakenly believes one of 2 things will result from their ear-raping howls:
1) they may attract a mate by commanding attention.
or
2) people actually find them worth listening to.

her ear-wrecking shrieks, cackling laughter, and the sheer decibel level of her voice have been known to cause the following symptoms in anyone within a 1.4 mile radius:
1) confusion
2) temporary loss of hearing
3) headache
4) uncontrollable vomiting
5) rage
6) thoughts of suicide
7) violence

left untreated, this could result in permanent loss of hearing or death.
treatment options include getting into your car and speeding away, or just k.o. the loud mouth b-tch.
a) huh? say what??? say that again. huh?!?! (shouts) im sorry dude, i can’t hear a word you’re saying over that bar banshee by the pool table!!!

b) i’m going home, the bar banshee is giving me a m-ssive migraine and i’ve been contemplating suicide for the last 5 minutes.

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