Bargain Buyer
i’m certain you’ve noticed those pointless offers of this nature:
“buy 25 and get the 26th half off!”
(buying 25 of anything should not even be an option)
usually you only need two, or sometimes three of these items with the “once in a lifetime offer”.
a bargain buyer is someone that only needs one one or two of something, but buys whatever amount is needed to get the “special offer”.
it’s pointless, and you always lose money and self respect by doing this.
ricky martin: well, here’s that shaving cream i wanted.
wal mart manager: mr. martin, have you noticed that if you purchase three-hundred and twenty (320) cans of shaving cream, you can also get a tube of chap stick at half price?
ricky martin: what a steal!
(…later at the counter…)
cashier: what the h-ll do you need 320 cans of shaving cream for?
ricky martin: i just wanted the discounted chap-stick.
cashier: wow. what a friggin bargain buyer.
ricky martin: what the h-ll’s that supposed to mean?
cashier: nothing. don’t worry. i’m not picking on you. (sarcasm)
ricky martin: what the h-ll is a “bargain buyer”?
cashier: look it up on urban dictionary.
ricky martin: are there any discounts for computers?
cashier: certainly, r-t-rd. buy ten plasma screen tvs, and get a cr-ppy mac, with a free keyboard.
ricky martin: where the h-ll do you keep the tvs?
cashier: right down there. (points somewhere)
ricky martin: i’ll be back with a cr-ppy mac, a keyboard, and ten tvs.
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