Benchie
a benchie is an individual who lives in a hermit like fashion curled up in their bed most of the day listening to j. cole and wearing nunn bush and trench coats. benchies are complete benchwarmers, however, that does not mean they are nonathletic or bad, they just love the bench and how warm their fat -ss can make it. most benchies cannot be seen together and must be secret in their activities. they must completely cover themselves in clothing, even when showering. typical shower attire includes jeans and an over sized rug used as a towel. benchies receive their name from the exact likeness they share with the midget from the popular film benchwarmers. benchies past-times include building peanut b-tter sculptures in their room shaped like taradactyls and other dinosaurs. benchies absolutely love peanut b-tter and usually enjoy spreading all over themselves as well as ennie’s hamburger patty nipples. despite popular belief, calling someone a benchie is actually not bullying, in fact they love being called benchies because it is a t-tle in which they have practiced many years and earned. besides one day benchies will be your boss.
“i saw a benchie on my way to cl-ss today, he was squatting over the drain trying to relieve himself of a very large t-rd that got busted up in his r-ct-m from the night before during his late night rendezvous with t-rdbusting jeff. wow… what a benchie.”
“i just benchied that drain so hard i think i laid a brown playdough creamer”
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