Benetian

a student that goes to benet academy in lisle, illinois. they are usually sleep deprived, functioning on coffee, sweat, blood and tears. they are characterized by their hard work ethic, their sense of responsibility, their catholic morality and also for the amount of pot they can smoke without repercussion. they are easily recognizable because of their kicky uniforms, featuring ties for the gentlemen and s-ssy plaid mini-skirts for the ladies. most benetians do not live in reality. rather, they live in a parallel world where there is no diversity, the number of beautiful white people with expensive cars and designer handbags is endless, golden retrievers run free and ten page ap papers can be written and completed the night before they are due. benetians are very close to one another, and for the most part function as a fairly close knit community. benetians are the best, fool.
the gorgeous 17 year old driving a brand new bmw is a benetian.
the girls in starbucks after school in uniform skirts are benetians.
the hilarious teenagers causing trouble in omega are benetians.
a student of benet academy, a high school in lisle. usually widens his/her eyes at brown kids who attend their school, especially in biology when talking about melanin. benetians always party, yet get good grades.
did you see those kick–ss uniforms?
yeah, those were the benetians.
this is a stereotype, and every part of this definition may not apply to each individual benet academy student
a student of benet academy. is a member of a large irish family in the upper 10% income bracket. a student who puts little effort into school work but miraculously learns their school material and earns “superior” grades. a student who can read an entire novel several hours before a test on it, and still ace the test. a student whose parents buy them a lexus es330, a bmw 3-series, or a ford mustang gt for their 16th birthday, then wrecks the car several weeks later (or drives it into a pond). a student who drinks liquor and/or smokes marijuana on weekends yet p-sses a drug test after urinating on a cafeteria table. a student who may appear to be a nice person to all their fellow students, but in reality helps form cliques that exclude those cl-ssmates of theis who are less socially accepted due to their more reserved personalities or imperfect physical appearances. a student who is constantly fed left-wing political propaganda from teachers, and occasionally buys into it. a student who calls themself a roman catholic, but only goes to m-ss when required to during the school year, and then spends the entire time socializing with nearby fellow benetians and/or text messaging people. a student who does not appreciate the many privileges given to tem. a student who is always interested in other people’s grades and test scores. a student who is always told that they’ll succeed in life. a student of caucasian or asian lineage, who often make offensive jokes against african-american and jewish people, simply because they can. a student who drives up to 35 mph over the posted speed limit in their school’s parking lot. a student whose act score is in the 30s. a student who can get away with overt cheating on school work, as long as their parents are donating money to the school. a student who is occasionally ridiculed by public school students in nearby school districts. a son or daughter of a former benetian.
once again, this definition is a stereotype. if you are a benetian and were personally offended by my definition, think about the truth in the stereotype i have provided.
“benetians binge on mult-tudes of facts, theories, and ideas–solely to regurgitate them onto the next exam. all in the name of attaining a higher gpa and cl-ss rank.”
–gadfly 2/07
this is a stereotype, and every part of this definition may not apply to each individual benet academy student
a student of benet academy. is a member of a large irish family in the upper 10% income bracket. a student who puts little effort into school work but miraculously learns their school material and earns “superior” grades. a student who can read an entire novel several hours before a test on it, and still ace the test. a student whose parents buy them a lexus es330, a bmw 3-series, or a ford mustang gt for their 16th birthday, then wrecks the car several weeks later (or drives it into a pond). a student who drinks liquor and/or smokes marijuana on weekends yet p-sses a drug test after urinating on a cafeteria table. a student who may appear to be a nice person to all their fellow students, but in reality helps form cliques that exclude those cl-ssmates of theis who are less socially accepted due to their more reserved personalities or imperfect physical appearances. a student who is constantly fed left-wing political propaganda from teaches, an occasionally buys into it. a student who calls themself a roman catholic, but only goes to m-ss when required to during the school year, and then spends the entire time socializing with fellow benetians and/or text messaging people. a student who does not appreciate the many privileges given to tem. a student who is always interested in other people’s grades and test scores. a student who is always told that they’ll succeed in life. a student of caucasian or asian lineage, who often make offensive jokes against african-american and jewish people, simply because they can. a student who drives up to 35 mph over the posted speed limit in their school’s parking lot. a student whose act score is in the 30s. a student who can get away with overt cheating on school work, as long as their parents are donating money to the school. a student who is occasionally ridiculed by public school students in nearby school districts. a son or daughter of a former benetian.
once again, this definition is a stereotype.
“benetians binge on mult-tudes of facts, theories, and ideas–solely to regurgitate them onto the next exam. all in the name of attaining a higher gpa and cl-ss rank.”
–gadfly 2/07
a student at the prestigious benet academy. generally characterized by their pompous att-tude and white skin. they primarily drive expensive cars and have mommy and daddy pay for everything. more often than not, they will consider themselves high cl-ss, only to get taken down a couple pegs by the fists and feet of public school kids. they are of course rich, and “catholic” (though many of the girls there are looser than a wh-r- on broadway). upon seeing a benetian, do not be frightened (unless you are black or jewish, at which point you should strike any benetian you see because they have without a doubt ridiculed and mocked your culture and race without remorse) simply place some money on the ground and hope they leave you alone. if that does not work, try confusing them by talking about not owning or partic-p-ting in the following: going to starbucks, sucking corporate d-ck, owning a cellphone, driving a car that they will inevitably crash into a pond, owning a designer hand bag, or a house with 8 stories and 3 pools.
public school student 1: man that girl is a c-nt!

public school student 2: but of course! she’s a benetian you fool!