best of luck


when you don’t respect someone’s ability to take care of themselves or handle reality, you can surrept-tiously use this phrase to not only cheer them up (as they’re likely to be the dreary idealistic type of wet noodle who would believe in luck anyhow) but you can get your jollies as well by knowing you’ve branded them as luckless cattle, incapable of steering themselves out of the sad, stifling little corral in which they’ve imprisoned themselves in life.
daphne: “victor, ramone told me such horrid things about you, and though he’s a tawdry wastrel, and though he’s been suckling your teat until recently you cast him into the wilds, well… he’s a reliable informant, and he says you’ve such guile as to have seduced me into amiable terms with you!”

victor: “why that’s a load of bullsh-t if i ever did hear. let me tell you about ramone, how he’s a womanizing adolescent with no backbone and merely the soggiest mewling gnashing of gums to ever grace the earth. let me tell you about how ramone has dishonored myself and many past mutual friends, like the honorable boris, how ramone’s often resorted to this sort of despicable whimpering to exact envious and petty vengeance. how boris and i have suffered his slights out of sheer pity for the scamp, how very pathetic a creature he is.”

daphne: “oh, victor, i refuse to listen to your reasoning. i may have a brilliant intellect but, my heart is pure mush pie, and am but a leaf in the wind when confronted with mush pies. i’m afraid i can relate far more with a steaming lake of mush pie than i can with a man so clandestine, debonair, and unsurp-ssed as you. clearly, in your villainy, you have approached me with falsehoods!”

victor: “so, you choose to side with weakness and lies! you brazen strumpet! you sorry, pithy excuse for a courtesan! to the dungeons with you!”

daphne: -sob sob sob-

victor: “oh b-gg-r it all. you’re not even worth the effort. best of luck!”
wishing someone the “best of luck” or “all the best” is a practice often employed by the middle cl-ss as a polite alternative to the colloquial “f-ck off”. in all recorded instances of its usage, no one who has ever uttered this expression has actually “wished” anything positive on its recipient. in almost all cases, the utterer secretly “wishes” that the recipient would not only disappear, but stop existing as a whole.
“unfortunately due to the high volume of applicants we are unable to offer you a position. we wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors and will keep your resume on file for future reference.”

“i’m grateful 4 the many blessings we’ve shared and i wish her the very best!”

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