bethesda

1. basically potomac except with eight times as many restaurants, three times as many crazy soccer moms, half the number of polo shirts and a shorter commute into dc.
2. city in which walking in any direction for fifteen minutes will inevitably lead you to a starbucks.
3. suburbia trying to be urban.
4. place in which it is extremely dangerous to be a small property, business or house because you are statistically certain to eventually be bought by a rich developer, torn down, built up ten stories high and be sold at ten times your original price.
5. the weekend haunt of sl-tty-looking pre-teens wearing short skirts or trying to skateboard.
6. where you will never find a parking sp-ce ever, and if you do it won’t matter because the restaurant will have a three hour wait anyways.
7. somewhere deceivingly entertaining, since the only real thing to do is eat or visit barnes&n-ble.
8. a limiting factor when it comes to getting into college, since everyone around you is an overachieving freak who does three sports, is in theatre, edits the yearbook, and is on sga.
person from bethesda: hi, i’m from bethesda.
person not from bethesda: hi, you must be a rich sn-bby f-ck.
pfb: well yeah kind of, but at least i’m not from potomac where it’s illegal to wear clothes that cost less than $500 per square inch of fabric.
pnfb: fair point. wanna go spend an absurd amount of money on movie tickets?
pfb: sure, but only if we go to the row since ua/lowes is sure to be overpopulated by 10-year-old hookers.
pnfb: good call.
a suburban area in montgomery county (moco) maryland that is filled with restaurants, houses, four large public high schools to accommodate overpopulation, and expensive cars. people from outside bethesda usually consider it to be a disgustingly h-m-genous and rich area. similar and directly next to potomac.
x: lets check out haagen-dazs in bethesda.
y: f-ck, a scoop of ice cream is over three dollars?
a beautiful community just outside of washington dc, filled with large, expensive homes, fancy restaurants, boutique shops, and expensive cars. it is the best educated city in america – with over 50% of the adult population holding a masters degree or higher. has a very cosmopolitan and urbane feel.
x: wow, ten different ethnic restaurants in a row?!
y: dude, it’s bethesda
the place where the where the high end job holders of the dc metro area go to have their families. with schools of over achieving children and high standards, streets filled with expensive cars, and a commercial standard of high priced quality material goods bethesda is a yuppie heaven.
(two teenagers from diferent schools in bethesda)
x – yeah, we had two go to harvard, one go to yale, three to upenn, six to cornell…
y – wait, only one to yale?
a suburban town where on the sidewalks you see rich white jews in real polos listening to rap on there ipods.

maya- much thanks
person from dc: wanna go to california tortilla?
person from bethesda: where?
dc:california tortilla.
bethesda:where?
dc:cal tor
bethesda: ohhhhh
n. 1. a section of dc suburbia noted for having a filthy rich populace, more restaurants per square mile than most american metropolises, a disturbing number of porsches crusing the streets, and laughably expensive movie ticket prices. 2. a yuppie epicenter 3. a congregating place for festive snots, most of them either preteens or over 25 4. (archaic) – the junction between east west hwy and wisconsin ave
–bethesdaner, n.
–bethesdaite, n.
–bethesdesque, adj.
a: hey, how about we get the group together at your house and then have a night on the town?
b: dude, i live in bethesda.
a: oh yeah. i forgot.
place where one of the highest-income families in maryland live, and in the country. suburban city, 5 minutes outside d.c. where everyone is rich as sh-t and the drives the hottest cars. it consists mainly of a white population (many of which are jewish) kids who are all sn-bby and think they’re better than everyone else. kids who attended whitman highschool,landon, georgetown prep, or holton arms are probabily the smartest and most succsessful kids. they will end up going to colleges such as georgetown, vanderbuilt, emory, um-ss,and michigan.
person 1: where did you get your sl 500 benz from?
person 2: my daddy bought it for me.