biggest fan


raving fan girl to the point of complete insanity. she knows exactly where you are, at any time of the day, on any day of the week, month, year, and/ or holiday. she will stalk your life. from your job as a useless dishwasher, to that little bit of time you have to yourself in the shower, she will be there. and worst of all… she always knows when you change phone numbers.
who is that creepy chick outside my window, staring at you like a psycho?””oh no… it’s my biggest fan! ok, i want you to take this sautee pan, walk outside and bash her over the head…”………-ping…. “the deed is done.”

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