bikesexual

a person who only has s-x with people who ride bikes. alternately, a person who is turned on by bikes and bike culture, specifically in a s-xual way.
not only does that hottie at the coffee shop ride a fixie, but she’s totally bikes-xual. i can’t wait to show her my ride!
previously totally heteros-xual male who would now rather mount his bike than a woman; usually travel in groups; wear tight spandex shorts without thinking it’s gay in the least; prefer looking at bike sites more than p-rn sites; not gay but not worth dating
guy#1: “i hate getting hit on by those f-ggots just because i wear these bike shorts. haven’t they ever seen a bikes-xual.”

bicycles spandax gay men athletes
to be attracted to only people who ride bikes or are involved in bicycle culture.
man: “want to get a drink sometime?”
woman: “do you ride a bike?”
man: “i did when i was a kid, but now i ride a motorcycle.”
woman: “sorry, i can’t date you, i’m bikes-xual.”
someone who replaces a human being with a bike. a ‘bikes-xual’ could live without any human-human s-xual contact as long as they were able to ride their bike. being denied their bike could result in several withdrawal symptoms. a ‘bikes-xual’ could become frustrated, upset and introverted. a feeling of loneliness could also be experienced.
bikes-xual: my girlfriend’s not back till late so finally we can be alone together… get ready for the ride of your life 😉
bike: (silence)
bikes-xual: i love you too babe.
to only feel s-xual desire to bicycles. this can include motorised bicycles.
g-d, after chris hughes admitted he was bikes-xual the world has never been the same.
the s-xual attraction of a man towards a bike, commonly small bikes or children’s bikes.

men that are bikes-xual often have their s-xuality -ssociated as a choice or s-xual preference, however it is considered a mental illness, like pedophilia or necrophilia.

bikes-xuality has never been -ssociated with women before, and the reason for this is still unknown. however, the female gender is the only one to experience hobos-xuality (s-xual attraction towards homeless people).

men that experience bikes-xuality are often more commonly attracted to small/tiny bikes or children’s bikes. this has nothing to do with pedophilia, but is believed to have something to do with the fact that men who are bikes-xual ‘have a momentary lapse in brain function whenever seeing a bike, thus meaning they revert back to a child-like state, liking anything cute, shiny or small’.
tricycles are especially appreciated in this circle of men.
mikhail came a few times when he saw sasha’s new barbie tricycle.

he still doesn’t consider himself bikes-xual.
describing someone who enjoys performing s-xual acts on a bike.
a:”so the new guy i’m seeing is definitely bikes-xual”
b:”how do you know?”
a:”he propped me up against my biked and banged me”