bird flu

the latest republican fear mongering talking point. primary aim: scare americans with talk of pandemic in order to change the subject from scooter libby’s indictment, supreme court nomination failure, bush’s approval rating at 38%, gop decision to cut senior drug benefits, karl rove still under investigation, etc., etc.
white house subject: bird flu
george w. bush to karl rove:
“don’t forget to call condi and remind her to talk about the horrors of the birdy flu panademic disease. does anyone in amurica have this thing yet? we need pictures, tv interviews. this birdy thang is gonna save our -rs-s.”
when a person is moving, selling or using a kilo of cocaine.
that dude’s got the bird flu.
flu for birds.
various forms such as h5n1. it isn’t as bad as the americans make it out to be, just don’t have s-x with birds.
it is lethal to humans. very difficult to make a vaccine because we made vaccines from eggs, and eggs come from birds thus preventing us from making an effective vaccine.
methods of prevention:
1)wear a condom while f-cking birds
2)don’t go off f-cking birds in the first place!, that is how we got a.i.d.s./hiv right?
3)don’t get raped by a bird.
symptoms of the bird flu…

the center for disease control has released a list of symptoms of
bird flu. if you experience any of the following, please seek medical
treatment:
>
1. high fever
2. congestion
3. nausea
4. fatigue
5. aching in the joints
6. an irresistible urge to p–p on someone’s windshield
it’s gonna kill us all
as soon as it mutates to spread from human to human, bird flu is gonna kill us all
another disease that the media is trying to scare us with, along with monkey pox, sars, and ebolia. also something that george w. is trying to use to scare people into trusting him again. a disease which is probably more bull sh-t then anything else.

according to worst case estimates, you have a 97% chance of never getting bird flu and a 99.4% that you will not die from bird flu.
“stop scaring us with diseases we will never get. first, it was sars, then it was monkey pox, west nile, and now asian bird flu. which doesn’t scare me because i’m not a sparrow in thailand. mysterious asian diseases just don’t come knocking on your door unless you’re neil bush.”

-bill maher

“there is reason to be concerned about flu pandemic!”
“100,000 people could be infected with-in days!”
-george bush
adjective. used in slang as the extreme of the words “ill” or “sick”, resulting from it’s health-threatening tendencies.
you hear that new hip hop alb-m, it’s straight up bird flu.

mahmud isn’t just ill, he’s bird flu.
the old swine flu.
~tom has the flu.
-is it swine flu? lol.
~no, it’s bird flu. he’s gonna die.
-bird flu is so later’d. what is it, 2005?

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