Blumfield Constant


in a world that changes all the time, one thing remains constant: the blumfield constant. the idea of this blumfield constant originated in a typical ap physics cl-ssroom. the blumfield constant is always the same, under every circ-mstance, in all situations, in any universe. the blumfield constant is strictly defined as equal to 1910289327×10^81e in the units (torr^2)(molality^normality)(j^5)(ohm^8)(tesla^12)/(pi^12amp)(cosine phi x rho)(gidfields^3). these units work perfectly fine in terms of how molecular shape affects magnetic fields in a lit frictionless elevator specifically designed for weighing fish. the elevator must be rapidly changing in pressure/temperature and there must be a constant supply of gamma ray radiation coming from a source. the unbelievable constancy of the blumfield constant cancels out and sometimes even overpowers the rapidly changing conditions in the elevator. the blumfield constant applies to the hair of the person weighing the fish in the elevator, which must be absolutely constant throughout the experiment for the problem to work. gamma radiation ensures the constancy of the weigher’s hair. the work on the discovery of the blumfield constant was pioneered by “mr gibfield,” whose own unit is included in the blumfield constant. mr gibfield is recognizable by his extremely constant hair, santa beard, and nose shaped like the greek letter “lambda.”
yoni: hey, i’m really having some trouble weighing my fish in this elevator. help me!
dustin: dude calm down! just remember to use the blumfield constant and everything will work out.
yoni: sweet! i did it! but why is my hair so constant now?
dustin: ¡no es bueno! we better go see if mr gibfield can fix this

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