busy season
a period of the year in public accounting designated by mandatory 55+ hour work weeks, weight gain, decreased s-xual activity, increased alcohol consumption, late nights, tickmarks, excel, inept-tude, and uncomfortable moments in the audit room. generally begins in mid-january and continues through march. for idiots who joined the tax practice, this season will extend through april and again repeat itself from july to october. busy season can be used to justify lack of contact with family, friends, your spouse/significant other, and little to no knowledge of current events. no weddings, funerals, or births should be planned during this time.
– are you going to watch west virginia kick duke’s -ss?!
– west virginia made it into the final four?
– come on man! the game is on tonight, why don’t you come over?
– sorry, i have some points to clear on these workpapers.
– what does that even mean?
– it means it’s busy season.
the four-to-six month long exploitation by partners of people in their primes, generally in their 20s. this term is used as a “valid” excuse to get the exploited to gain anywhere from ten to one hundred pounds, develop several addictions, give up any semblance of a social life and learn to view the partners as something similar to a totalitarian ruler.
during busy season, it is required that each employee work a minimum of 50 charge hours per week or else they are considered a liability to the firm and dead weight. failure to do this leads to public humiliation and a lowering of future wages and promotion possibilities.
the partners will tend to use “busy season” to the lawmakers to convince them to legalize sweatshops in first world countries, only with fewer rights and privileges.
during busy season, the exploited are expected to overcome any illnesses, birth defects, funerals, other medical disasters and most of all, sleep, in order to help the partners fund the purchase of a golden statue of their dogs.
doctor: son, you will need this emergency heart operation within two weeks.
patient: i wish i could doc. it’s busy season right now.
doctor: ah yes, i completely understand. good luck with that!
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