Calvary Chapel High School

n.
a small religious private school located in orange county. also, a complete waste of money. a former student without a college degree could be the next ap calc teacher, the janitors have enough power to throw you out of school, and you can be expelled for engaging in s-xual activity on the weekend. the only way to avoid being expelled for engaging in s-x, drugs and rock ‘n roll, is if you are a decent wrestler or your mom works in the office. recently, calvary switched to true grits uniforms. at true grits, they strive to make pants that will make you look like an -sshole, and skorts that will make you look like – you guessed it – an -sshole. you must recite the saying, “pastor chuck is g-d and george w. bush is his prophet,” in order to gain admission. the food is sketchy, and all the wrong girls hem their skirts to make them shorter. calvary is the breeding ground for angsty teens that dream of going to “public school,” and the crack-wh-r-s of america. don’t try to go off-campus for lunch if you are an undercl-ssman. the security guards pack heat. don’t tell anybody that you are hiv-positive. if you do, everybody will know it before you can get your grilled cheese sandwich. if your parents give you the option of either:
a) going to calvary chapel high school
or
b) shooting yourself in the foot
take the smarter choice, choose plan b. yeah, this school sucks that badly.
billy: hey did you see karen?
thomas: yeah she is really cracked out and has three kids now.
billy: wow, calvary chapel high school really f-cks people up.
thomas: yeah, let’s go to del taco