cannibalistic trolls

a breed of mythological creature that lives in the forest of magical silliness. their everlasting enemies are the alabaster dwarfs. they are wild and untameable beasts, who roam the forest on dark nights, looking for earth dwellers. they beat them over the head for fun, with their wooden clubs that are stained with goober blossom blood. they also kill goober blossom plants so the alabsater dwarfs have no food, because they find it quite humourous.

the trolls diet is very simplistic. they feed on each other, and only need to eat once every month. if a troll dies, they eat it after it rots, so the flesh is tender. their life span is very long, so sometimes the trolls must sacrifice one of their own in order to survive. during the sacrificial ceremony, the trolls throw the bodies of alabaster dwarfs at the troll being sacrificed, until it is fully buried, and it suffocates.

cannibalistic trolls mate once every three hundred and sixty five days, and give birth to approximately ten children for each pregnancy, which lasts about five days. young trolls eat squirrels and fairies until their three inch long teeth grow in. at this time, they are now able to eat the flesh of their own kind. the trolls are solitary animals, but coem togeher are a comuntiy on full moons, for that is the night that they feast.

the trolls travel all throughout the forest of magical silliness, but take shelter beneath the roots of the giant peach trees. they gaurd the peach trees, which makes them very hard to chop down. they only clean themselves if they are being sacrificed, and they bathe in the juices excreted from the womb of male cannibalistic trolls.

it is presumed that by 2010, the cannibalistic trolls will have wiped out all of the alabaster dwarfs. please help us kill off the cannibalistic trolls so the alabaster dwarfs can be saved, even though they are basically doomed to fail.

if you would like to try and attempt to save the dwarfs, feel free to donate to the save the alabaster dwarfs foundation (sadf).

“sh-t im terrified of cannibalistic trolls”