Carl Edward Jordan Split


one person plays the role of banana, and lies down on a futon. the other two play the roles of ice cream and whipped cream. toppings, like fudge, cherries, warm pee, and printouts of famous presidents and supreme court justices are then added on top of the “banana.”

once everyone is in place, while listening to an audiobook version of the illiad, all members pretend someone is eating the banana split and “mashes all the ingredients together.”

after everyone is thoroughly covered, they cuddle and lick up the toppings.
a “carl edward jordan split” would be when jordan is the “banana” and carl and ed cover him in peaches, cherries and fudge. carl switches on the illiad and curls up in a ball on jordan’s legs with pictures of sotomayor. ed grabs a handful of seabeans and gets in as the “whipped cream.” after “eating the split” for 3 hours, they cuddle and eat all the toppings.

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