chapping my ass
an action referring to the present tense in which you are currently making your -sshole raw, red and chaffed; leading to later discomfort.
(on the phone) “hey buddy, yeah we’re all out of the double quilted extra-soft toilet paper, i’m chapping my -ss right now with some discount sand-paper bull-sh-t. this is gonna hurt in the morning… ok, yeah i’ll see yeah.” (hangs up phone)
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