chav mobile

a small, often outdated, hatchback car that has been given the full ‘chav’ treatment at halfords or other trim shop. fake hid bulbs, skirts ‘n’ spoilers, cheap alloys, kenwood or alpine window stickers (but not necessarily a stereo of the same name!), the obilgatory big-bore exhaust, blonde slag p-ssenger, d-ckhead with burberry cap at the wheel. in short:- more wattage than horse-power!
the nova or saxo that always races me up the m62 on-ramp and has used up its first 4 forward gears before i leave second!
a car that is so pimped it is cr-p also it can be sold or bought in burbery or other cr-p chavy colors.
hey look at dat chav mobile!
the only mode of transport for the chav of today, a chavmobile is a derogatory word for a home-converted vehicle of some description. countless modifications may include huge subwoofers in the boot, a crude soft-top, spoilers from an f1 car, blue neon underneath the doors, spinning hub-caps, painted flames around the wheels or bonnet, a nitro-charged engine (homemade, of course) and multiple cd player. the trouble is, a chavmobile will usually be a fifteen year old vauxhaul nova or a ford fiesta that should have been scr-pped after the accident.

incidentally, why do chavs spend so much money doing up their chavmobiles when they could buy a decent car with it in the first place?
readers of motoring magazine max power will be all too familiar with chavmobiles.
a corsa, nova, saxo or some other cr-ppy little shopping car that has had a sh-te body kit super glued to it. usually driven by a pimply little pr-ck with less driving talent than my nan.
chavmobiles must have at least one body pannel in grey undercoat because the owners (chavtards) ran out of money after spending it all on white lightning cider and copies of “lacks power” magazine.
many hours of fun can be had standing by a high speed b-mp watching these muppets shatter their ludicrously low front spoilers.
also known for their ability to accelerate flat out in a straight line before sh-tting themselves at the first sign of a corner.
chavmobile accessories include.
1) an exhaust you can fit your head in connected to a 1.1ltr engine.

2) a bin lid sized sub woofer making the obligatory elephant flatulence noise.

3)tw-tty blue l.e.d’s on every available surface.

4)underlighting, making it look like they ran over a sunbed.

5) alloy wheels worth 3 times the value of the car.

6) an imaginative use of airfix paint to “customize” the dashboard.

p.s running all of these accessories uses up about 80% of the available engine power.
cr-ppy attemt to get frineds, usually has r’n’b ‘pumping’ out of 30000000 watt paper speakers that costed a bomb bruv (10p).
pipming it up, y’all, music usually (bullet proof) 50 cent painted burberry at home with tesco value paint (at 20p per 1000 gallons)