chodeiolous effect
the natural phenomenon that causes everything to go to sh-t. scientists have theorized that the natural rotation of the earth causes minuscule ripples in the chode-time continuum, resulting in widespread chodeular bullsh-t. these ripples, in turn, cause shifting of the chodetonic plates, exponentially magnifying the chodestorm. the scientific community has reached a consensus that such events as the extinction of dinosaurs, nickelback’s formation, and the holocaust were caused by the chodeiolous effect. many philosophers have alluded to this phenomenon in their works:
westley, the dread pirate roberts: “life is pain, highness”
whoever the f-ck came up with murphy’s law: “anything that can go wrong, will go wrong”
batman: “my parents are dead”
everyone is affected, with the notable exceptions of satan and his offspring.
jim: how was your day today bill?
bill: not great. i woke up and we were out of frosted flakes. then i found out i have gonorrhea. then i turned on the tv and saw that my entire family died in a 10-car pileup on the freeway. then i checked my fantasy football team and saw my running back on the injury report.
jim: that’s the chodeiolous effect for ya.
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