College essays
something that colleges make you write in an college application in order to get a better picture of you. however, college essays take up a huge bulk of one’s time due to the sheer number of them one has to do. therefore they are the most evil thing in the world…like really, they’re h-ll.
joe: hey julie, you want to go out wit’ me tonight?
julie: no thanks joe, i have to write five college essays and the due dates are tomorrow ughhh!!!!
a mexican dude who is fortunate enough to attend school after grade 12
jose may have been a big man on campus in high school, but here at ucla he’s just another college essay.
(noun, pl.) a completely masturbatory work of high school fiction, used by college admissions officials as psyops tests in order to evaluate your personality. these, on college applications, are better left blank, so long as your gpa, sat, and other tests are in your advantage. otherwise, sarcastic embellishment is usually required, in the form of a hail mary p-ss.
tom: so, how did you do on your college applications?
michael: great! i got accepted at all four of my picks, plus the university of miami, and i didn’t even apply there!
tom: wow! what did you write for your college essays? i couldn’t think of anything but m-ssive bullsh-t.
michael: oh, that’s okay. they prolly didn’t even read yours. i left all of mine blank, and they didn’t care.
tom: well, you were a great student.
michael: it’s okay for you though, you just need to choose a less exclusive major.
this is the point in your life where you pour the largest amount of bullsh-t you can muster into a paper. and then send it to colleges.
senior 1: hey dude you started on your college essays?
senior 2: yeah i don’t even wanna read it over man it’s such pure bullsh-t
senior 1: yeah man me too dude let’s just get this sh-t done over with
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