Constipater
– noun
verb
• s: (v) clog, constipate (impede with a clog or as if with a clog) “the road is being clogged by these drivers”
• s: (v) constipate, bind (cause to be constipated) “these drivers have me in a bind”
adjective
• s: (adj) constipated (have difficulty p-ssing)
a constipater is a driver that blocks others from p-ssing, usually clogging the fast lane. if a constipater prevents change of lane by clinging to your blind spot, they may also be referred to as a dingledummy. really, any word that has to do with fecal matter applies to traffic blockage.
often constipaters are unaware of their surroundings, even if multiple vehicles tailgate and/or p-ss at higher speeds. but sometimes constipaters block traffic because:
1. they are people of leisure who have no deadlines or commitments, and for some unknown reason prefer rush hour
2. they are rubber necking
3. they are too lazy to move to a slower lane
4. they think they should enforce the speed limit
5. they think everything in life is a compet-tion and they want to prove they are the winner. these drivers also will cut in front of others, in which case they are simply referred to as sh-t heads.
the opposite of constipaters are diarrhea-drivers, who speed, tailgate, weave, and may also be a “sh-t head” by cutting off other drivers. a sh-t hemorrhage is road rage that occurs due to constipaters.
i’m going to be late again because of a d-mn constipater! this feels like giving birth to a brick – i need a traffic bm!
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