Corby Riot

a misnomer. the riot took place in poland. after the twinning of auschwitz with corby.

all went well to begin with. a visit to poland went down a treat. words such as ‘this ex death camp is quite swish next to the exeter’ and ‘i wouldn’t mind living in that shed rather than on the beanfield’ and ‘ i’m staying here instead of returning to the lincoln’ were heard.

the trouble really kicked off with the first visit to corby by a group of poles. things got off to a lousy start when a shocked huddle of visitors with chins agape were given a guided tour of corby town centre. one pole panicked, and started to walk home rather than suffer any more. luckily for him, he made it to kettering general hospital, where he was treated for post traumatic stress in a and e.

that first day, as the guided tour progressed to the rest of town, there was a run on vomit bags. the highlight ‘visit to canada square’ resulted in kettering a and e shining yet again. treating umpteen cases of uncontrolled, projectile vomiting, a couple of cases of being ‘brained’ with an empty whiskey bottle, and a single case of violent h-m-s-xual rape.

the so called ‘corby riot’ occurred when the bedraggled survivors arrived back in auschwitz. within 5 minutes of the coach parking outside, the town hall was well ablaze. also, persons unknown had stolen the ‘arbeit macht frei’ gate (later found on ‘the beanfield’ being used as a trellis.)
corby has been twinned with a crater on the dark side of the moon in order to prevent another ‘corby riot’.