criniti
men have naught to fear, but women…. gird your uterus. made of dark purple misty smoke, a criniti is vicious in his attacks. the high pitch of a women’s voice is his signal that his prey is near. as a closet vaper he can cloak himself in his own smoke. his battle cries include the following, ” make me a sandwich” or ” go get pregnant. ” he stashes all his unfortunate victims in a hidden mopar he keeps out in the boonies. a criniti is not to be taken lightly, all females be advised keep a spare sandwich near to throw in the opposite direction in case a criniti comes after you.
i kept my sandwich beside just like you said mom, and when he appeared yelling, “the house isn’t up to my standards!” i tossed my sandwich so far to the other side. it worked just liked you said mom! thanks for the emergency criniti kit, i was so close to being crinitied! whew.
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