Derby County


an english football club who have spent most of their years in the top tier of englands highest division.

derby fans are probably the most loyal fans in the country, because even during the bad times they sell out almost every single game and outsing opposition fans home and away.

derbys local rivals are nottingham forest who play in league one and probably won’t ever get out of it, however due to how sh-t they are, most derby fans have forgotten about them. in fact you may struggle to find a derby fan who can name a single forest player…
“have you ever heard of derby county?”

“yeah… we beat them but i’ve never experienced such p-ssionate fans in my life”

“what about nottingham forest?”

“sorry?… is that joke?”

“yeah might as well be!”
while largely unknown to the world, derby county are perhaps the most successful comedy/magic combination act of all time. formed in 1883, the original cast of 10 sheep and a village idiot proved a huge hit with easily pleased, dimwitted locals.

fuelled by their early success, by 1884 the group looked to take their act to a wider audience. for an unfathamoble and as yet unexplained reason, it was decided the best way to do this would be to masquerade as a football team.

this left county with a problem, as fielding a team with 42 legs went against league regulations. attempts to get around this by removing the rear legs of each sheep proved a rash and unpopular solution, as not only could the sheep not play football, it also made intercourse far more difficult for the good citizens of derby.

axed from the group and traumatised by their experiences, yet unwilling to go quietly, the sheep went on to form the derby county supporters club. their influence can still be seen today in the delusional, stubborn and s-xually maladjusted derby fans.

replaced with nine mental inst-tution outpatients and a cauliflower, county became masters of irony. famous gags include being the holders of the ‘worst premiership season ever’ t-tle while simultaneously performing their shows at a venue known as ‘pride park’ and their ability to charge inbred derby residents exorbitant prices for one dire performance after another.
did you go to the derby county game on sat-rday?

f-ck off
an amazing football club, that totally rule!! d-mn right!
rock on x
derby rules forever !!!!!! d-mn right. keep supporting dude.s

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