Douche Scale
the scale of douches, 1 being really good and 100 being really bad.
1 – 10: genuinely nice guy.
(sensitive, sweet. 1 – 5 = pure)
11 – 20: average guy.
(most guys in this category. nice, but not super sweet. 15 and under are a bit sensitive.)
21 – 30: douchem-ffin.
(nice, but still douchey. not annoying.)
31 – 40: douchemeister.
(annoying, but a little amusing.)
41 – 50: doucheface.
(tolerable to an extent, a bit more annoying than a douchemeister.)
51 – 60: douchebag.
(stereotypical douchebag, hater.)
61 – 70: douchemonkey.
(har-sser, troll, mild player.)
71 – 80: douchenozzle.
(messes with girls’ emotions, immature, player.)
81 – 90: douchefaqué. (also pr-nounced douchef-g.)
(extreme player, intolerant to others that are different s-xist, racist, etc.)
91 – 100: supreme master doucheface.
(abuser. 91 – 93 = emotional abuse. 94 – 97 = physical abuse. 98 – 100 = both.)
notes:
1 – 50 = tolerable.
51 – 100 = b-tchworthy, insensitive.
–reasons must be provided for any ratings over 60.
she used the douche scale to rate him as an 80, a douchenozzle.
often, calling someone a douche doesn’t seem to be enough to represent their level of douche-baggery, thus the douche scale was invented, so as to quantify one’s doucheness. depending on the area you live in , different things are equivalent to different values on the scale. a basic, point system is used (see example). usually one is marked on their doucheness out of 100. keep in mind that those are just guidelines as to point distribution.
example douche scale
clothing (20 points):
– popped collar in back but not on sides = 5 douche point
– popped collar everywhere = 10 douche points
– polo shirt of an arguably flamboyant color (usually from hollister or a company synonmous with it) = 10 douche points
behaviour (60 points):
– talking loud enough so everyone in a 50 foot radius can hear you = 10 douche points
– talking about oneself chronically = 10 douche points
– pretending to be a different ethnicity (e.g. wiggers) = 20 douche points
– general douche-baggery(you can choose what this may consist of) = 20 points
physical appearance:
– gelled hair = 10 douche points
– excessive facial hair = 10 douche points
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