drive-thru chicken
roll up to the window of a fast food drive-thru after placing an order, look the worker in the eye, reach out your twenty dollar bill and don’t let go. begin counting to yourself “one one thousand.. two one thousand..” if the worker breaks the chain first, take your time and double it (ie 30sec x 2 = 60 points). if you break first, then there’s no multiplier (30sec = 30 pts).
if the worker cracks a smile at any point, immediately let go, smile and say “you are appreciated.” the multiplier for a smiling employee is x5 (ie 30sec x 5 = 150). operation drive-thru chicken is not about annoying drive-thru workers, but about reminding them you appreciate them standing on their feet for 8 hours making less than indonesian child laborers, just so you can pay 99 cents for a burger, you cheap f—.
the next day is round 2. if it’s the same worker, wave and drive past – forget it, man. unless you like a burger with extra spit after they used it in their lunchtime broom hockey tournament? if you go through with it, then multiply total score by an x5 danger multiplier (ie 30sec x 2 x 5 = 300). when you get to the e.r., try to at least get the word salmonella out so they have something to go on.
extra credit: have your p-ssenger record video for posterity. add 100 points to total your score.
see also: toll booth chicken, driver’s license chicken
“hey eddie, i’m starving, man. let’s go to mickey’s and play some drive-thru chicken!”
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