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located in central jersey, its by far the best “brunswick” out of all of them. the other brunswick’s are new, north, and south. east brunswick is home to many jewish people, and as a joke even the non-jew’s are counted as pseudo-jews. east brunswick’s town mascot is the bear. eb also has an adopted little brother, milltown. many milltown residents pay taxes to and have their children go to east brunswick highschool.
hershel: “hey how you doing today?”
matt: “not bad, feeling kinda jewish though.”
hershel: “well you are in east brunswick”
a small, overly populated town in new jersey, consisting mostly of jews, with indian and spanish cultures rapidly moving in. in east brunswick, there is nothing to do but drugs, have s-x or hang out at the brunswick square mall. adults/parents usually commute to new york city or philadelphia for work, while teens/students attend the most confusing school system on the face of the planet. k-5: elementary school, 6-7: middle school, 8-9: junior high school, 10-12: east brunswick high school. in east brunswick, the township channel is ch. 3, which n-body watches unless it is snowing outside, hoping for a “no school” slide on the never ending power point. teenage boys of east brunswick are generally not goodlooking and teenage girls are either hideous, gorgeous and prude, or gorgeous and a huge sl-t. east brunswick is the most innocent of the brunswicks. new brunswick is host to drug dealing, gangs and college parties (on rutgers/cook college campuses). everyone in east brunswick agrees on hating it and believing it is boring.
friday:
joe: so what do you want to do tonight in east brunswick?
jack: smoke a blunt?
joe: i’m broke.
jack: pick up some b-tches?
joe: we’re too ugly.
jack: go to the mall?
joe: and do what?
jack: hang out?
joe: i guess that’s all there is to do…
a town in central jersey consisted of the following groups of kids; jews, catholics, nonjews, noncatholics, emo kids, fake emo kids, preps, stoners, wiggers, gangsters, mall rats, & geeks, nerds, & losers. too many people dye their hair black, go to the mall on friday, make up gangs, and smoke pot. its made of rich and poor kids all who steal their parents money for either the mall or weed. there is nothing to do in this town and everyone knows it. it has the most f-cked up school system and when you try to explain to outside people what school you’re in or going to, no one ever understands so you just look like a complete idiot. most of the girls are sl-ts but some are also prude. the guys are pretty much all d-cks or they’re too shy/emo to function. everyone will agree in the end that its a pretty boring f-cked up town.
kid: you from east brunswick yo?
eb kid: yeah, ill be at the mall on friday if you wanna meet up.
kid: yeaaaaa sure.
a nice town, probably could also hold the name chindia for the amount of chinese and indian people who live there, also home to nearly 5% of all jews in the world. home of eb square, an l-shaped mall where really all anyone ever does is do tons of laps around it. probably the only place where when a kid wants a cigarette and will refuse to call it one, many times a cigarette is referred to a bogey which confuses the h-ll out of anyone who this is asked to. also it’s home to a large amount of freshman and sophies due to the easiness of getting there. very often you will see kids from old bridge, and more recently those pot heads from spotswood. it is also home to mega movies, a huge dissapointment when it comes to movie theaters, make sure when you want to sit down you sit in a small group not by nathans otherwise you may get into some trouble with the management. when you’re walking around the mall there is a whopping 95% chance that you will run into a mall cop that will have a problem with what you’re doing, whether it’d be sitting down for too long or not moving (keep your eyes out for the black haired mall cop, don’t have a staring contest with him he always cheats with his laser) most people once they’re done with the mall just leave or head outside to smoke some weed. finally, you will probably never see more people wearing those north face jackets with a million pockets all over them anywhere else. great sightseeing for those who never get outside.

“come on guys keep it moving”

“but… we’re sitting”

“yes, well there is a strict sitting time limit of…. up well it just went down to a mere 5 minutes”

“wtf…”

“yup, sorry keep it moving”

10 minutes later…

-inhaling sound-

“aghhhh yeah thats good sh-t”

“you east brunswick kids ain’t that bad”

“neither are you john from spotswood”
a town full of -ssholes who think theyre better than everyone else
man 1: you guys are so poor and stupid. i’m going to return to east brunswick where i can chill with some jews, indians, and chinese people. nice

man 2 to another kid: wow, that guy is the typical east brunswick kid