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contrary to popular belief, eastenders is not a story that unfolds. the storylines are available a week in advance and the cult tv soap known as eastenders is now a well known and widely used excuse for those moments when one cannot be bothered to get up off ones posterior and do something vaguely constructive.
“i can’t. eastenders is on”
a dangerous and highly articulate disease that affects the central nervous system for about half an hour each day. it enters the body through the ears and eyes and attaches itself to the boringopiate receptors in the brain causing symptoms similar to a large injection of heroin in some people. however the disease affects people differently. it can cause anxiety, a distortion of reality, sweating, h-m-s-xuality, skin irritation, and mild death in others. recommended treatment consists of several large doobies, and a box set of family guy.
fox jk is scared of catching eastenders.
a strange urban collection of hyperactive, semi rational individuals. none of them posess their own washing machine, and most of them only own two sets of clothing. some characters in fact wear clothing which was handed down through the generation, from the 1980s.
characters are mostly unemployed, for they spend most of their day in a tiny square. nothing like this actually exists in the eastend of london, which is actually very large, cosmopolitan, with large streets, large roads, and large communities of various ethnic groups.
on eastenders this is not reflected, it is perhaps stuck in the public imagination of the eastend in the 1950s. the storylines are not well thought out, the acting is childish, and it reflects a place firmly in the imagination of the british public.

the eastend of london today, is made up of asian, white and black ethnic groups, with brick lane mostly asian.
it is not really reflective of multi ethnic london, despite the occasional crazy black or asian family who arrive, to live alongside the mostly crazy white families.

its imaginary stuff.
real life “i am going to brick lane market in the east end, to purchase some sari material, and have a curry!”

eastenders “err love, we ave 2 asian families on our street now, its a lot more than it used to be innet?”
a bbc ‘soap opera’ that has been running since february 1985.

eastenders is set around the fictional east end of london town of ‘walford’and follows the every day events of its inhabitants lives.

the ‘soap’ has now p-ssed into cult viewing, with legandary characters like ‘dot cotton’, ‘pauline fowler’ and ‘pat buther’ with her ever increasingly size earrings!

some may see the show as beyond the realms of being believable, but that is why it is a ‘soap’ not a ‘drama’. whatever people may say about it, it is a british inst-tution and compulsive viewing.
sorry, i can’t come out until 9, eastenders is on!

oh my god! did you see eastenders last night?
either a cr-p soap opera about c-ckney w-nker or the real life place where true c-ckey waners live
everyone’s talking about it- yeah they are saying thank f-ck i don’t live in the east end like these t-ss-rs.
eastenders is a british soap opera for people that have a very low iq. viewers of this programme may have a variety of other conditions including grotiness, being overweight or being utterly devoid of culture. the entire premise of the programme is based on the day-to-day lives of smelly make-believe people who cannot talk properly. typical settings include a chip shop, a launderette, a garage and a pub. this programme is the chocolate beard that spoils the bbcs otherwise perfect washroom.
“h-llo dot – how are your varicose veins today?”

“oo – not so bad – i’ll see you down the launderette later”

“ok – unless i see you at the pub first”

“yes” eastenders – please ditch it bbc
a british soap opera that can only be described complete and utter lump of sh-te. has the most ridiculous storylines ever, smallville looks realistic next to this.
soap operas suck, who gives a sh-t about some made up tv characters lives? not me. i hope a nuclear bomb goes off in the queen vic and wipes out the entire population of albert square. i’d watch that anyday.

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