eggbert

typically described as a full on male nerd who fully believes that the introduction and then subsequent removal of his s-xual attentions from a woman’s life can destroy her very existence. confident in his extraordinary bedroom prowess, he can be characterised by his awkward dress sense, many female “just” friends, short stature and his extensive collection of pc gaming paraphenalia. often balding, this man wears spectacles and declares himself an athiest. is likely to have pr-nounced his love to many women, directly followed by a knowing look and the phrase “i’d only hurt you.” this belief is based on real experience or an impressive intellectual architecture of movie plots sublimated over many years of sat-rday nights at home.

stock phrases include “trust me, i’m a d-ck”, “no, modern warfare on the pc is way better” and “sure mum, i’ll zip you up”.
me: oh god, its eggbert again.

eggbert (getting off back of motorbike, behind driver):

bye mum!

(driver waves, adjusts woolen coat and drives away)
4 more definitions
some1 that possess very irritating qualities such as annoying speech impedements, hyperactiveness and has a head shaped roughly like an egg. you will usually discover the urge to beat the sh-t of an eggbert while they talk complete bullsh-t out of their eggbertius head.
daniel freeman
youve got an eggbert head
shut up egglet
excellent toy catalog that ships monthly
holy sh-t the eggbert catalog is here
a beanie baby made by ty who was only released for a short time.
‘my new eggbert is so adorable!”
a fart that smells like rotten eggs
somebody just laid an eggbert…