Elmwood Park

the best town ever. the school is currupt, but it looks nice. the administraters are crazy. kids drop out everyday. everyone smokes everything and we even got a few crack heads. day and day more people get arrested for somthing. nothing ever changes. the bigges news in town is the re-ups.
we’ve got a spot everywhere to blaze a blizzy, light up an l. we got the couches, the tresel, pick-it spot, me crib and madd otha places. and every one in town knows and hates beatle juice(the ugliest girl in school).all and all elmwood park is a chill town.
we all live in elmwood park
where there is a new experience everyday. people are dropping out of school becoming pot heads, and the pot heads are gettin strait and going to college. people are being held hostage in hotels and elementry schools because there is a guy running around w. a gun. the wrestling coach looks like a rocker jesus. and athletes are its future. freshmen are playing and starting on varisty sports.the football team hasnt won a game in the psat 4 years.the basketball teams made it all the way to states. freshmen girls are on birth control..seniors are gettin married. everyone is known for something. being smart, a sl-t, a jock, a younger sibling of someone. skaters are invading the town.
elmwood park..its a cracked up town
commonly called ep. a place where everyone is family. elmwood park is a small town in illinois where everyone knows everyone & there are no secrets. there is a northside and a southside. most northside kids hang out at john mills elementary & are found at lolo’s sub shop a lot. most southside kids hang out at elm middle school & north avenue. everyone has stolen from the gas station on north avenue at one time. in ep, you’re really cool if you have your name on the inside of victor’s icecream truck. everyone knows carlos rodriguez, the favorite policeman. elmwood park is the most unique and exciting place to be.
i’ll be in elmwood park, duh
village in illinois. blithering cesspool of douchebags, eastern europeans and -ssholes. many suffer from big fish small pond syndrome. very few people possess a high school diploma, even fewer a bachelor’s degree. one person has a master’s degree. men are bald, cheap, and hang out at baciami. women have baby daddy’s no husbands. everyone knows everyone’s business. city hall is run by corrupt individuals who frequent hookers on cicero ave. streets are never paved. housing prices have nowhere to go but down. no commercial district. everyone 30 plus long for the “good old days” of driving around harlem never going anywhere but the sears parking lot. once so popular wh-r-s from neighboring suburbs and as far away as skokie would drive around the area in the hopes of meeting an ep guy. these people cite this period as the best of their lives. everyone peaks at 17. all village “news” is covered by mannos news (run by a local crackpot, via a facebook page, who barely possesses an 8th grade education) from an office inside dunkin donuts. today’s teens are illiterate, ghetto wiggers that think they are “hardcore” because they walked to the brickyard and talked to a few mexicans without realizing they talk to mexicans everyday but are confused because ep mexicans are actually called italians. inhabitants believe tony montana is a real person. teen wh-r-s from the 90s eat mcdonald’s all afternoon while their kids are contracting hepit-tis from the mcdonald’s playland.
fat wh-r- mom #1: the parks are so disgusting
fat wh-r- mom #2: i know, there aren’t any wood chips
someone not from elmwood park: maybe you guys can form a task force and make parks an issue?
fat wh-r- mom #1: f-ck that. i am too busy cashing my welfare check, eating mcdonald’s and going to costco. i am just going to go to a wealthier neighborhood and let my fat ugly kid deface their public park.
the most boring town in illinois. mostly constructed for little kids, as the parks have signs that say “no children over 10 allowed.” most teenagers are driven wild as there is no where to stay or go, only one skatepark in the middle, and it closes at eight when summer curfew is eleven.
“elmwood park is so lame! there’s nothing to do here.”
the place where i live. it is a terrible village with no one who is an induvidual there. the only decent school around is on the edge river forest and even the teachers there are r-t-rded crack heads. every girl there is on the softball team and wear there hair in a stupid mess on the top of their heads. they all listen to generic cr-p music like that lipgloss song. they are complete b-tches about gays and african americans. trust me, no one there has heard of ac/dc. besides my realitives. there is an ex-residant of there who is now in rehab, the so called richest family there are all inbred jack-sses who ask little girls if they have d-cks. my worst years took place in that town. they are anti-british, anti-french, anti-muslim, pro-bush, and pro-ann coulter. if you want to move there and become an illiterate -ssholes who are obsessed with disney and mtv, be my guest. just pay mind to the so called “ghetto” across north ave. it isn’t though. i lived there, it is just like any other neighborhood, it changes, it’s not a ghetto, it is a respectable area, other than elmwood park.
all the b-tch aberzombies live in elmwood park. all the fools who don’t know their past who don’t have a future move to elmwood park. the only cool people there are brendon, mike, me, sheila, grandma, uncle frank, and that old athiest guy my mom fixed a watch for.
well, elmwood park on a map is locatedd closee by to the town knows as patterson, which most people seems to believe is the ghettoestt off ghetto foshizzle and because we live here in elmwood park some of the ghettoness rubbed off on uss through out the yearss. this is why when we go to other towns such as saddle brook we own cause they are not used ot our level of ghettoness, but garfieldd hun, garfieldd is adifferent storyy
elmwood park people kick -ss :