Emilitus


a pychological condition that stems from an utter infatuation with or affinity towards any person named emily, emilia, or emilz (“e”). it listed as an axis-ii personality disorder “mental illness” by the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders. labeling it as a “mental illness” or “disorder” is somewhat misleading as it’s noted symptoms are rarely, if ever, negative. the dsm-iv lists 7 symptoms of emilitus, 5 of which must have been experience in no more than a one week period for an accurate diagnosis. these symptoms include: overwhelming feeling of euphoria when near this particular(“e”); a persistant feeling of discontent when apart from “e”; constant desire for physical intimacy of any kind with “e”; mutual fits of spontaneous, uncontrollable laughter with “e”(a.k.a. ridiculitus); inability to stop smiling when with or talking to “e”; constantly having and acting on the urge to stare psuedo-creepily at the stimulus and say “yeah” in an psuedo-creepy voice; and incessently hearing the song “ride” in one’s head
ridiculitus is a symptom and subcategory of emilitus. ridiculitus refers to shared fits of uncontrollabe laughter that have no primary cause outside of emilitus.

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